Reintegration
I have always been very self aware in general. I don't like the idea of fooling myself in to believing a lie only to let other people down when they see the truth. This is different. This is a new level of honesty with myself and its hard. The realities I am currently facing are such that they can tear my whole identity apart. I know that sounds a bit dramatic but 1. I'm Irish so, yeah, it is probably a bit dramatic and 2. I live a very carefully constructed life built on chosen beliefs. My identity is tied to a value system based in the necessity to hold these beliefs in place. They, and nothing else, are my “moral compass”. But they are on;y half truths. Surrender them to the light of day and they will turn to ash because the other half is the foundation. The part I keep so neatly locked away is the experiential knowledge...the ugly truths. I don't know how to reconcile them. In fact...they will not be reconciled. They are so adverse to one another that they